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Hear you me

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I’m a sucky girlfriend sometimes….

So I just spent like an hour trying to figure out how to unlock my boyfriend’s phone because I saw something at the top of his lock screen that said “Well hello there” and I freaked out and thought that it was a text from some chick… …then I realized that it’s a welcome message he set for himself.

BANANA PUDDING FIGHT!

Me: You know what would be so much fun!!?
Patrick: What?
Me: A banana pudding fight. like you're in a-a-a-
Patrick: A kiddie pool?
Me: Yeah but like a big kiddie pool, and you have banana pudding everywhere and you throw gobs of banana pudding at each other and of course some would get in your mouth and it would be *delicious*
Patrick: Except when I throw pudding that's been under my *BALLS*
Me: whatnoofCOURSEyou would wear bathing suits!!!
Patrick: No bathing suits! How else do you think it would get it's flavor? PENIS!

a poem.

hellicopter hellicopter over my head
bake me a cake as fast as you can
mama called the doctor and the doctor’s dead.
zombies.

“ Little Red Baby Butt, baby you got diaper rash! Little Red Baby Butt, you need a diaper that’s gonna last! ”

—    we sing crap like this to the baby when we change her diaper

So this just happened...

Me while changing the baby's diaper: Oh, poor tiny red vagina.
Patrick (her dad): Red-vag, the Pirate. AAARRRRCCHH!!!!

REALeto...the voice of life.

Patrick: *singing really high*
Me: hahaha
Patrick: *blushes* it's my high lady opra singing voice
Me: It's your falseto.
Patrick: It's my REALeto!!! WHAT UP!!?!?

“ Oooooh man, I’m gonna put on pants today. ”

—    Patrick Fisher

honky-tonk-badonk-adonk:

do ur squats
eat ur vegetables
wear red lipstick
dont let boys be mean to u

(via samberle)

My opinions matter

Tumblr told me so

“ Learn to say ‘no’ without explaining yourself. ”

—    (via schlafwandel)

(Source: j-term, via briannarawrr)

Hear You Me

There’s no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I’ll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I’ll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in. 
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I’d sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn’t let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

ok so i’ve decided….

if and when i get married again, i want a photo booth, a costume bar, picnic seating, a candy/popcorn bar, a naked cake, live entertainment, and carnival rides. 

itsmenre:

Skull Baby Car Seat

super cool!!!!

(Source: three-of-a-perfect-pair)

dastridly:

spittingoutmentats:

madderthanaboxoffrogs:

angelofthanatos:

dancinwithabottle:

nothingeverlost:

Every time I see this I think to myself “You defaced a book? Hell no I’m not marrying you.”

Yeah, I feel that way too. Glad I’m not the only one. Though I really like those flowers I’ve seen made from books. I’m torn over those…

He could have gotten a blank box for a couple of dollars, photocopied the first page of the chapter, pasted it to the inside of the box, made the box look just like the book; without defacing the book.

#PRINTED BOOKS ARE NOT SACRED   #THERE ARE MILLIONS OF THEM   #I HAVE A LOT OF FEELS   #ABOUT HOW PEOPLE WORSHIP THE PHYSICAL FORM OF BOOKS   #AND NOT THE WORDS INSIDE   #THE WORDS ARE THE IMPORTANT BIT   #AND USING A BOOK FOR SOMETHING SWEET LIKE THIS ISN’T DEFACEMENT OF PROPERTY IF THE PERSON OWNS THE BOOK. BOOKS ARE UBIQUITOUS   #AND HAVING WORKED IN A USED BOOKSTORE A LOT OF THEM GET TRASHED   #AND NOT JUST CRAPPY BOOKS   #GOOD ONES LIKE THIS ONE   #I WOULD RATHER SOMEONE USE THIS FOR SOMETHING MEMORABLE LIKE THIS THAN GET TRASHED   #DON’T JUDGE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO MAKE PRETTY THINGS WITH BOOKS   #BOOKS CAN BE REPLACED AND ARE NOT INHERENTLY SACRED  (via andrastesgrace)

fuCKING THANK YOU

Yes yes yes yes thank you tagged commenter.

agreed with the tag rant. side note…if he asked this way omg…the feels…i would melt!

(Source: radicallyfuckinggnarly, via ha-pennydreadful)

<p> *me putting in The Mirror Has Two Faces<br>
Patrick: Is this the story has five faces or something?</p>